A much-needed feature

Since we were traveling on Valentine’s Day, we observed it on this past Friday. Our gift this year: We went in together on a coffee pot, which is easily the most important item in our house. Like everyone else, we went to Target, where we saw this hilarious product description (for a model we didn’t buy):

I think $59.99 is an excellent price for a “Permanent God Filter,” which I think you’d pretty much need after using anything with “complete frontal access.” In general it would be nice to have after teaching Darwin, or any of the Victorian faith-and-doubt literature, or Freud, or anything else provocative. And I have relatives who would be warded off by such a filter, too.

Having said that, reading about this “pantented feature” doesn’t exactly inspire me with confidence; plus, I really think the Target Team Member who made tag must’ve been drunk: “Easy add water and coffee without moving around counter” doesn’t even parse.

While the coffee maker we bought won’t filter out God, it does make a serviceable pot of coffee without leaking all over the kitchen, which is really all we wanted.

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In other news, the answer to this question is: Because the busybody technician who installed the heater turned it way down–under 110 degrees–“because you have a child.” Which is true, but we also live in Connecticut, where it’s been known to get cold. A few turns of a phillips-head screwdriver later, the heater’s reset to ~125, and there’s hot water a-plenty.